As a little Jewish girl, all I ever wanted was a Christmas tree.

I couldn’t understand why we didn’t have one and everyone else in our neighborhood did. Somehow, Santa still did visit us on Christmas eve, even without a tree or decorations on our house. My parents  allowed my brother and I to hang stockings by the fireplace and leave milk and cookies out for Santa, but that's where they drew the line. No Christmas tree allowed. Of course, as we got older and realized Santa would no longer be visiting, our Christmas traditions came to a screeching halt.

As luck would have it, when I was in 5th grade, my best friend, Patty, invited me to come and decorate the tree with her family.

They even surprised me with a Mickey Mouse ornament of my own that would hang on their tree. I had so much fun and I continued being a part of their family tree trimming each year throughout our high school years.  It wasn’t my own tree, but I was getting closer.

In 1984, my friend Mary, who I met in college, invited me to spend Christmas with her family who lived a few hours away. I was leery. It was one thing to go over for an afternoon like I had at Patty's, but quite another to sleep in someone’s house and share Christmas with them. Saying yes to that invitation turned out to be one of the most pivotal moments of my life for so many reasons, but most importantly because I gained a second home and a second family.

I experienced the Christmas of my dreams at Mary's house that year.

There were decorations everywhere, inside and out. The tree was perfect. It had twinkling lights, tinsel and beautiful and meaningful ornaments. The house smelled of delicious home cooked meals and yummy cookies. And then there was Mary’s family who made me feel incredibly comfortable, welcome and part of their family from the moment I walked through the door. 

I arrived on Christmas eve and stayed for three days. In that time, we never left the coziness of their warm, inviting home.  We sat around the kitchen table, talking, eating, laughing and eating some more.There was no need to shower, apply makeup or change out of our pajamas. There were no responsibilities or worries other than what game to play next or snack to enjoy next. 

It was a time to relax, recharge and enjoy each other’s company. 

On Christmas eve, the festivities began in the late afternoon with guests coming in and out the door throughout the evening. Some stayed for dinner while others just enjoyed drinks and appetizers. Every person I met was friendlier and happier than the next. As the night went on, it was time for Santa to visit the little ones. As everyone was talking about Santa, I thought it was the metaphorical Santa but I soon found out I was wrong. Mary’s father had disappeared into the bedroom and walked out looking like Santa himself. He had a full authentic Santa suit, beard and belly. He even had the Ho-Ho-Ho down perfectly. 

He and Mary's brother drove off into the night to visit the homes of their friends and families. Santa would stand out on the lawn and wave to the children who had been woken up out of a deep sleep in order to catch a glimpse and a wave from Santa. They were gone for hours, driving around the rural area they called home. They returned with frozen noses and fingers but with smiling faces and stories of the excitement they had seen on the children’s faces.

On Christmas morning there seemed to be gifts as far as the eye could see. They were separated into piles for each person and we would watch as one at a time everyone would open their pile of gifts. I was truly enjoyed watching as each gift  was unwrapped and was shocked when I was told that it was my turn to open my pile.  Mary and I were planning on exchanging, but a whole pile?

I barely knew Mary’s parents and yet they wanted me to feel welcome so they bought me gifts. I was completely overwhelmed by their thoughtfulness.

After gifts were done it was on to a big breakfast. Mary’s mom could whip up tasty, decadent treats in a flash. I would enjoy chocolate chip pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream along with the best tasting side of bacon I had ever had. Then for dessert,  I couldn’t resist sampling a few of the Christmas cookies I hadn't yet tasted the night before.

Once we were sufficiently stuffed and everything was cleaned up, it was on to an afternoon of games. At the time, Trivial Pursuit was popular and Mary and I loved to play. We would split up into teams and laugh the afternoon away as we bantered back and forth with one another trying to finalize our answers. We played until we could no longer think, have a snack and retreat to the couch to watch movies. Nothing could have been better.

As I drove home that year, I replayed the events of the past few days over again in my mind. I was amazed at how quickly I was embraced and made to feel like part of the family.

I was just a friend of Mary’s and yet they made me feel like so much more. Just saying thank you to them hardly conveyed the gratitude I was feeling in my heart. This family had given me a storybook Christmas. Everything was absolutely perfect from the tree, decorations, food but most importantly the people.

It was a wonderful way to close out 1984. Since that year, I have spent every Christmas with Mary’s family with the exception of two when my grandmother was dying and my son was born (wound up being born on December 31st). Over the years, my cousin would accompany me as well as my husband and children. My children got to experience the same things I had but through the eyes of a child. Santa visited them at Poppy and Wheezie (Mary’s parents) each year too. They made reindeer food and sprinkled it on the lawn outside the house before they went to bed. They experienced the thrill of waking up on Christmas morning to find Santa had left them a pile of presents under the tree and then eating Wheezie’s yummy extra special christmas treats

Together, over the past almost 40 years, we have celebrated birthdays, weddings, births and anniversaries. We have also supported one another during some traumatic events including illnesses and deaths. We are the best kind of family, the family that you choose. 

This year will be no different. We will celebrate Christmas together once again although the celebration no longer resembles that of 1984. We have been forced to create new traditions because of life's circumstances. We will reminisce about years gone by and know that Mary’s dad will be there with us in spirit. As Christmas eve turns into Christmas day, we will turn the lights down and admire the beautiful tree with it's sparkling lights and ornaments that remind of years past.

I still appreciate and love the tree’s beauty but no longer dream of the day when I will have a tree of my own. I’ve come to learn that all the decorations, lights and tinsel are a smokescreen for what truly matters most and that of course are the people. 

Regardless of whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza or anything else, the message is still the same.  Leave your worries at the door and enjoy the company of those you love.

Laugh, love, eat and savor each and every precious moment!

Until next time, 

Debbie